oh well
I think I’m back on track now. House is clean. Sparkly. My efforts will last approximately twelve hours, somewhat less if the dogs decides to spend more time this evening digging their trench in the back yard. I am not quite sure what they are preparing for, possiably an all out squirrel invasion. Anyway, looks like they’re pretty much ready for anything that comes over that back fence.
Got another rejection. Yummy – love em. Just love em. Squash my dreams why don’t you - you, you word bastards you --- no - - It was kind. He took the time to point out everything that didn’t work and to mention my floating commas and you know what - I don’t even know what a floating comma is. Are they like helium filled commas? I’ll look that one up tomorrow. I do know I have a major problem with commas. I just shove them in, here, there and everywhere. Is there a Comma Police? OK I know you don’t think that was funny but when I just thought of that – I thought Ha that’s funny. Comma police arrest this girl she buzzes like a fridge – well I better stop, while I am still willing to post this.
lost
Woke me up to a cardinal bird – Tom Waits (Lost at the Bottom of the World)
I love that. I couldn’t wait for Christmas. I got Orphans – Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards.
3 discs. It is excellent. I lost the last couple of days to a restless, insecure, soul searching, wishing I was on a chicken farm making music kind of breakdown – which would be difficult considering I don’t know music beyond what a treble clef looks like. Anyway, I’ll just chuck it up for a false start and begin again. ON Your Mark, get set, GO!
O.K., maybe not, I think I just hurt my ankle. Best to wait til tomorrow to start. Better just pour myself another cup of coffee, think a little longer on the story in my head. Mr. Waits has been giving me some inspiration for one of my characters in a new short story I started “Star Attraction”.
Just listened to Nirvana on the bawlers disc. Wow, lovely – one of his speaking stories. He may be one of my favourite story tellers.- - he has the best lines, the best story telling voice.
But serious, I got to start my day. It is 10:04 – still need to shower, on my third cup of coffee, hadn’t lay eyes on the girls yet, only got the dogs as far as the back yard – really I might need the booster cables for this one.
Frost
A light coat of frost covers all. I will bundle up in a few minutes and take the dogs to the park. Let them run about while I enjoy the conversations of the regulars that go there. My social interaction for the day. Yesterday, besides my jog and grocery shopping, I did nothing. I read a little, napped, and made myself about four cups of tea, which I enjoyed with peanut butter and jam crackers. I thought about the east coast while I sipped at my tea. How I love that stretch of shore between Kouchibouguac and Baie -Ste – Anne. I wonder what it must feel to those who own homes along that stretch? Standing on their back porches in the early evening or walking to their cars early morning as they head off to work, always with the cold air coming off the water at them, always with all that open space, all that ocean all the way to the horizon, at their backs. Some days I feel home like a toothache.
Yesterday, I jogged while listening to the Killers “Sam’s Town.” It is a great album to jog to. The dogs were well behaved and we went about 5 km. the morning was bright; the sun felt wonderful, shadows of myself and the dogs filling up the sidewalk. One home we past had a line of white sheets on their cloth line. The soft scent of soap, the sunshine and cool air drifted from them and the combination smelled lovely. Every time I jog this neighbourhood I feel like I owe it my appreciation more.
This picture of the sheep I took at the Royal Winter fair. The girls and I went a few Fridays ago – I had trouble with my camera that day. Tried to do things manually and frigged up all the settings. This little guy was patient with me though
Lists
This is the time of year I sit myself down and make lists. I know I have a fair amount of things I need/wish to accomplish before the holidays and so instead of buckling right down and getting things done, I rather make lists of the things to be done. Some may call it organization; I call it a stalling tactic.
On my immediate list
Wash my dogs (today for sure)
Make an appointment for their annual vet check up (poor Lucky is due too but I am going to save hers until after the holidays, simply because she’s not in the budget this month)
Finish up about another three hours of accounting ( my mistakes) (today for sure)
Finish up a small power point and a small page layout job I’m doing (for the same person) (Tomorrow)
Laundry (today for sure, they are beginning to complain about the lack of clean clothes here)
On my before Christmas list
Make a short movie of Erin and Monica from the ton of video we collected over the years, put it on mdialogue and send it out to family members (mainly as a gift to the grandparents) and for me to see if I can figure out how to edit all that film and of course to show off Greg’s application. Some of our friends have made short movies and sent invitations for us to view and they were well done. A friend from Germany made a beautiful short film about her dog and our friends here made a sweet short film of their daughter’s first bike ride. I was so impressed I want to try it.
Gift shopping for my family back east and send out the parcels before the second week of December.
Gift shop for the girls and Greg
I also need to find a nice white shirt to go with my dress slacks because we are invited to the Nutcracker.
Of course I need to clean the house – not just the day-to-day stuff but also the fridge, stove, cupboards. I would love to put another coat of white on the baseboards – I should do that soon
And I can’t forsake my writing or my jogging and I want to spend at least two days baking this year – bread, cookies, a cake, muffins ---
I know this doesn’t look like a big list but I’m already feeling anxious because what usually takes most people a week to do, takes me about a month. I blame it on my contemplative nature or the fact that I’m lazy to the bone. (either/or)
Anyway, those dogs aren’t going to wash themselves, so I best stop now. I bought some all-natural lilac scented dog shampoo for them. I know they won’t appreciate it though, much preferring the scent of dead, decaying things they find in the Quarry to roll around in.
Tom
I Know what I'm asking Greg to get me for Christmas.
A few of the tracks are at the bottom of the page.
the tree
The tree outside my window still has two hundred or so dried copper leaves hanging from its limbs. It will take another strong wind to shake them free. The neighbours across the street have moved out. She was nice, I will miss her although I am sure I will she her around from time to time. Erin and Monica’s first term in school is almost over. Term marks are trickling in on some of the subjects. They are both doing well. Monica is a going concern these days. She has many friends, lots of invites, a pretty steady babysitting job, yoga on Fridays, and puts tons of effort into her school work. Science, math and French are her strong areas. She also does very well in computer (these strengths are all from her Dad). Erin is not so go, go , go – she’s shy, spends a lot of time in her room listening to music, learning the songs, she starts her projects the night before they are due and she writes poetry that she rarely shows to anyone. They are opposites and wonderful.
I won a book last week. The Android’s Dream by John Scalzi. I was pleased about that and the biggest thing I did last week was join an online writer’s workshop – Critters. I was thinking about doing it for a long time but only just got the nerve up. It is a well-run site, I believe. If I critique one story a week than I think I can get a story of mine critique probably once a month – depends how many stories are up. Anyway, I took about two hours trying to critique the very first story they sent me and only wrote 300 words. It is so hard to critique someone else’s work. I kept trying to tell myself that I was just a reader stating what I liked and didn’t like. Because when I started thinking of myself as a writer too, I started getting insecure – like who am I too be critiquing this person’s work? I think it will get easier though. I’m hoping.
Another small accomplishment is I finally made it up The Hill on my jog. There is this hill I always avoid because it is just too bloody steep but Wednesday I tried and got to the top. Felt a little like Rocky until the day after when I was so sore I regretted doing it.
As I was looking out the window at my tree and thinking about something to write, I remember a poem I wrote last January. Thought I would post it.
Every year it gets bigger
The tree in the front yard
Elm of yellow leaf, of winter bare branch
The hydro men come by sometimes to
cut the arms
That might some day lean on the wires
And every year it reminds me
I’m from away.
When I arrived it was a sapling, almost straight
My fingertips could touch when I held
It’s slim neck in a choker’s grip.
It belonged more than i
to a postage stamp yard
In front of a busy street
But that is only because
it knows patience
Someday I’ll climb its branches
Once it reaches a certain point of sky,
when its trunk is layered thick with seasons
today however
from the January window of my bedroom
I will count each limb of bronze
Each wiry sinewy pinnacle
And the five withered copper pipe leaves
That hang tight
Determined to last the winter
My dilemma this morning is
I received two emails almost simultaneously. One was from friends who lost their female beagle dog this week to advanced age. They loved her so much and are of course devastated over this loss. They are the most amazing dog people.
The email was titled sad news and the first line contained the word sweet and they had attached a picture of her.
The next email was from the animal rescue people we received our dogs from and the title of it was - sweet dog urgently needs foster home –they also attached a picture. Long ears, soulful eyes staring at me. It is a nine month old beagle mix (mainly beagle) and I am thinking this is too uncanny not to forward this email to our friends but then I can’t because I feel it might be too insensitive, they just lost their dog and are still grieving -- what to do? Tell me it's just coincidence and not some devine plan where I am being used as a conduit and I’ll be happy with that.
Every week there's a thursday
Need to jog but every morning now I try hard to come up with excuses not to. My ipod is not charged, too windy, raining, couldn’t fall to sleep last late, how can I jog with seven thousand bite size chocolate bars in my stomach, the holidays are just around the corner maybe I should start up when they are over – Sad really because I know once I get out there I’ll actually enjoy it - and I can’t speak for Bow because she’s a bit of a strange girl but I know Cinnamon enjoys our jogs.
I sat down looking for a semi professional ezine to send my vampire story to but I always get a little intimated and depressed looking for markets. Plus it is still too long.
So I ended up deciding to let my story stew a little longer.
Now I must jog
