behindtheax

thursday already

Well I can honestly say I feel very productive these days. Working almost full time hours for Greg and will be busy until the end of June. And I’m actually getting stuff done. He hasn’t even threatened to fire me in at least a week. So things are going fine. But what bugs me is how my self worth starts to climb with each billable hour. I mean I like this feeling, I just wish I felt the same way when I work without the paycheck. You know all those little life jobs. Like the housework and helping the girls with their studies. I feel these are just as important but for some reason I can’t get my self-esteem to join that way of thinking. Come on Esteem work with me on this.

Meanwhile, it has rained lots here and everything is lush. I left the grass grow too long and I tried to mow it yesterday with our small manual mower but I couldn’t get through it. I’m going to try whipper-snipping tonight if the rain holds off.

The dogs definitely did a number on our yard but still nature prevails. Flowers are still coming up. The clematis that they chewed through almost to the root decided to come up through the ground anyway and is now slowly climbing back up its trellis. And the rose bush that I planted for Sandy – last year it didn’t bloom at all but I counted three small buds on it this morning. I will post a picture of its first bloom.

Monica and I walked down to the shore Monday night to watch the fireworks. When we came back from it I took a pen and paper to the kitchen table and tried to write a poem about the two of us down there, sitting on this rock, it was a little cold, she was snuggled into my side, there was a big crowd, Everyone was shooting off their own stash of fireworks. Two boys were actually shooting fireworks at each other. And then the city sent up theirs and I don’t know. I just suddenly felt like it was a moment that was poem worthy – Erin and Monica are growing up so fast and I just want to remember that rock we were sitting on and her as a little girl.
The day before that I was at the mall with Erin, helping her pick out a graduation dress (Junior High) and she stepped out of the dressing room wearing this dress – it was a light lilac colour with tiny shoulder straps and a layered skirt ending little past her knees. It was so lovely on her – I got choked up for a second --- but of course she didn’t like it. She did eventually pick one that she liked. She is going to look lovely. And this weekend I promised Monica I would help her pick out hers. She is graduating from Elementary. My gosh. Lots to do for June.

posted by mary j. @ 5:19 PM