Happy Valentines Day
The sidewalks are a sheet of ice. Monica and I walked to her school this morning holding hands to prevent us from sliding down all the driveway’s small slants. A semi-dark, cloudy day but I have come around almost 360 in my thinking. I have been pessimistic lately and feeling a little tired and drained but the last few days I have been letting things go, finally removing that January cloak that always seems too heavy on me. I like the quote by Iris Murdock over at Whiskey River’s site. This morning it jumped out at me and got me thinking a little bit about how much I do dwell on the past and the person I was and all the illusions I surround myself with to give myself some degree of self-worth. It would be nice sometime to find a peaceful, quiet place away from that. This morning that old self seems very distant, maybe not dead, but distant.
On Saturday we finally got to go snowboarding. Monica took another lesson and almost has her turns down pat now. The day started off slightly cloudy, sun kept hiding and the wind was a little strong at the top of the hills but at one point when I was going up on the lift by myself -Greg and Monica were on the lift in front of me - the sun came through a break in the clouds and shone down so warm and so spring like, I lifted my face to it and closed my eyes and just felt happy for a moment. And for three or four runs I was amazingly in the moment, swishing back and forth, fear laying low, and thinking to myself .. wow, I finally got it. I can do this. I mean I could get down a hill before but it was usually a very ungraceful, cautious descent and here I was just feeling so relaxed and it seemed to help so much with turning and plus once you pick up speed it is a lot easier to turn. However, on my fourth run my confidence out ran my skill and I went for a lovely face plant and gave my shoulder a good jolt. It was a little sore on Sunday but not too bad.
And Sunday we had friends over for supper and it was a very nice time. They have two daughters too. One is a few years younger than Monica and they get along great. The youngest is ten months now (I believe) and is so sweet. She scooted around after our cat almost the entire time, saying meow, meow whenever she got the cat cornered somewhere. The cat liked her. I can always tell by the way she moves her tail, flicking it slowly back and forth, keeping a little hook at the end of it. Erin stayed up late and watched the Grammies so she put on her best down and out face this morning and said she wasn’t feeling well enough to go to school. She doesn’t miss much school so I gave in and said sure, stay home.
And now that I have hopefully shaken the winter blues and I know it may be a little premature to say that but the sun is getting closer so I'm going to try harder, get my house in shape, get myself in shape, make some plans, learn something, start thinking about what I want to plant this year in my garden, enjoy my family, just enjoy - you know all that good stuff .
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