behindtheax

maybe not

Looks a little like rain today. I think I will clean the basement. How’s that for an interesting Saturday? I went to the driving range last evening just to hit a few balls and this older gentlemen approached me and gave me a few pointers and they worked. Greg tries all the time to help me but for most of it all I hear is, “blah, blah, blah” . and it is probably great advice that he is trying to give me but I got so much advice from him over the years that it all warps into white noise now. Especially when it comes to golf.

Things (knock on wood) are looking positive for Greg in New York. The trip concerns the web application that he has been working on – He was so hoping to have had it up and running before this but cash flow and time wasn’t always that easy to come by. Anyway, he had two meetings and both parties showed some interest so hopefully the trip was a worthwhile one. I know it has been for Monica, she is loving it there.


The authors of two separate blogs that I read became new moms over the last year and I have been enjoying their sparse but touching entries on motherhood. Of course this had me reflecting on my own first years as a mom and I went back to my old journals to see if I had anything to make a blog entry about. I found a few touching moments but mainly it was me whining the whole time. Monica, I believe I handled things fine. Second time around is the charm sort of thing. But I was lost as lost could be with Erin. And so incredibly lonely at times. And in a few entries I may have bordered on psychotic. I am not sure.


My pseudo -psychotic episode happened three days after I got Erin home. She was so tiny and wonderful and new and I started to fret that the environment she was in wasn’t clean enough and so I started scrubbing. And I became overly concerned with the litter box and since we lived in a very small apartment at the time there really wasn’t any where for it but just outside the bathroom. Anyway, I’m cleaning out the litter box and I notice a little white worm and I freak. I mean I freak. I called the vet and said my cat has worms, they are all over her litter box and I have a brand new baby. And I’m a little frantic on the phone and the vet’s assistant is being really polite and telling me to bring in a sample along with the cat and I’m saying – I can’t do that until tomorrow because my husband is at work and I have a brand new baby and no car and what should I do in the meantime? Can the cat pass these worms onto my baby?

and she is more or less trying to tell me that unless the baby eats the cat shit- its all fine.’

But I was not fine. I started seeing little white worms everywhere, in the carpet, towels, bathtub and I carried Erin about that whole day and I wouldn’t put her down. And to top it off the cat didn’t even have worms.

New baby + isolation + busy husband = Whoa! Not a good mix.


So, anyway maybe it’s a good thing I couldn’t blog back then. ;)

posted by mary j. @ 3:19 PM