behindtheax

good help is hard to find

I am such a lollygagger. Greg and I went out for lunch yesterday and we actually discussed my idle ways. I brought it up. He sort of added that I am just someone who can’t self motivate and I was much better off when I had an employer to motivate me. He’ s right. Well, he is sort of my employer at the moment but the work is kind of sporadic, a couple of hours here and a couple hours there and even that I usually get to him at the eleventh hour. And he must of asked me now about a dozen times to keep my hours up to date in an excel spreadsheet – which I keep forgetting to do. So when he goes to bill the client and asks me for my hours I’m like opps… really I’m hopeless and I guess that is because his disapproval doesn’t really bother me like it should – like say if he was a real employer, I probably (hopefully) be more on the ball – not that he isn’t a real employer but it’s not the same, we’re too close. Hell, I sleep with him.

And then he asked, “What do you do with your time?” And I tried to tell him because it isn’t like I’m lying on the couch eating bon bons all day but that being said some days doing that would probably make a more productive day. Like right now, I shouldn’t be blogging. I know that. And yesterday that little piece I wrote about my childhood recollection took me like an hour and a half to get down what? two paragraphs? As it is I want to rewrite it or delete it but regardless, I found the exercise therapeutic and that has got to be worth something?

What do I do with my time? Well mornings are sometimes a little hectic – Erin had questions about her math this morning, Monica couldn’t find her favourite hoody, the dogs needed to get out for their walk but Bow somehow removed her sister’s collar and I couldn’t find it anywhere (it was in the back yard), breakfast, dishes, a load of laundry, a walk around the back yard to pick up dog shite, wiping the dogs down after their walk, the girls come home for lunch every day so I make them lunch, just a lot of small things that just seem to eat up my time. Of course I do read blogs once I start up the computer but I only have about six that I read faithfully – it really doesn’t take up that much time – I use to spend longer reading the paper when we use to get it. Anyway, here I am defending my leisurely ways when I only started writing this to convince myself to get out there and start looking for a way to be more productive. Putting mother, wife, dog walker, wanting writer a side - I need to go out and find something I might be good at – earn a little money, gain a little self esteem. Oh man, it’s scary though. I have been gone so long.

OR - - I could just pick up the pace around here some and start motivating myself to stick to a better routine. Be a better employee to Greg and get more involved with his business. At least keep on top of his filing and finish these small projects he gives me, in a timely manner.

posted by mary j. @ 1:19 PM