behindtheax

rut

This week is a strange one and I have been living far too much of it in my head. We are going home for two weeks in July. I love my hometown. I love where I’m from although it was always a tough little place to survive in and getting tougher. The mill closed in December and there is no sign of it reopening in the near future. But nevertheless it is a beautiful place and I miss it more than I like to admit. The city was never my cup of tea although I do try hard to be happy here and most days it is relatively easy – because I made it easy – by bowing out of the work force and most social settings, preferring to be around the house and the girls. But some days I realize just how small I’m making my world and I want to begin expanding it again. A neighbour of mine asked me if I wouldn’t mind teaching her Excel and I wouldn’t mind doing that at all and I should call her with a yes and arrange a time but I’m actually nervous to do something this simple. I’m telling ya, I am so extremely socially challenged that I get nervous ordering pizza.

However, we're going out tomorrow night to a restaurant with a couple of friends and I’m looking forward to that. That works well becuase I have greg with me and he finds it easy to carry on conversations so it leaves me comfortable not having to say too much. Greg is also taking tomorrow off and we’re going to try a game of golf. It will be my first time on a golf course although I have been practicing hitting balls at the driving range. What else is going on? Not much. Been writing a bit in the mornings and early evenings but not getting very far. Lots of ideas, no true drive to get it down right. Daunting. What I need is a separate computer without Internet access so I don’t go off surfing in mid sentence like I’ve been doing. I would love to try harder at writing but I am having a hard time committing myself to it 100%. I’m always worried about the time it eats up but really I’m not doing much else with that time. Poor Greg is still wondering why two weeks worth of filing is sitting on his desk in a big pile. I’ll do that now. Have a nice weekend.

posted by mary j. @ 10:31 AM