behindtheax

boxing day

I was wondering what I could take from my journal and place on my blog, regarding these last several days but a lot of it was too confusing to make much sense of. My image of Christmas this year is a mixture of blessings and despair. On Thursday after the ice had come, I went for a walk, to fetch a few last moment things (stocking stuffers and tea lights). As I was walking, the sun came out for the first time that day and it sent all this warm light to bounce off every ice-covered object. The bare tree branches were brilliant. They all looked like they were strung with white lights. It was one of those big sigh, happy to be a live moments and then the bus came by and just labeled me with heavy, wet brown slush. This sums up the holidays for me. I am trying hard to appreciate it but real life sometimes sneaks in. And then when I figured I made it through, I wake up to the news about the earthquake and flooding on the coast of South East Asia. It just made my tiny balancing act that I have been trying to maintain just plain meaningless. In the wake of such tremendous loss, it is hard not to let despair win this one.

posted by mary j. @ 1:14 PM